I was on the roof of my single-story apartment, sat in a deckchair watching the slight silver-blue glow of the full moon bathe the park opposite and bringing the night creatures—the ghouls—into the light. There were three of them in total tonight.
I ate cold beans straight out of the can and smoked a cigarette. I’d become somewhat careless, perhaps overconfident, in recent weeks, so I threw the can ahead of me to see if the ghouls stirred.
They didn’t.
These were the dumb ones. Slow, unable to run. Weak and malnourished. Too stupid to figure out a way to open cans to eat. I didn’t know why they decided to stand there, hunched over in the moon’s light every other night, sleeping, or whatever they were doing. They were starving to death, so I’d only be putting them out of their misery, anyway.
I smoked the cigarette down ’til I could taste the chemical plastic of the filter and flung it away. Picking up my AR-15, I cocked it. I took aim at the closest ghoul about three-hundred meters away, standing idle, faceless under a dark hood, and fired. It dropped dully and without a sound. No different in death than in life—if it could still be called that.
The one a little further away from the dead one was wearing only pants and no shoes. Bald and scratching at something—probably maggot-filled open sores. I fired six rounds and thought I heard air leave the dead soul, but I couldn’t be sure.
Got you, you stupid son of a bitch. I felt little more than if I’d shot an empty can of beans.
I looked up to see where the last ghoul was. It’d gone. Must have wandered off or gotten scared by the shots.
Then I heard a scrambling sound. The thing was right below me, trying to climb up to the roof.
I got up out of the chair and looked down. There it was—sunken, milky white eyes with a dilated center and gnashing rotten teeth. We made eye contact for a moment. I was looking into the eyes of death manifest. “I’ll come up there and fucking kill you,” it said, dark blood now leaking from its maw. But it was as if the voice had come from somewhere else, not from the thing that was once a man—disembodied and far.
It clawed at the wall with long skeletal hands, producing blood, tearing its nails off trying in vain to scale it. It let out a desperate moan before I took aim and made its head pop.
I felt the pumping in my capillaries, which brought me back to myself, back into my own body.
It’d been a while since I’d been so close to a ghoul, and hadn’t heard one speak for a long time. I figured I’d have to clear the body in the morning.
I hated touching those disgusting things.
***
Next day I was in luck. Something had gotten rid of the body for me—an animal or another ghoul. I’d seen them eating each other before. Dead or alive, they didn’t care.
The plan for the day was to get gas for the car and head to the supermarket to stock up.
And kill any ghouls I might find while out. They weren’t out and about during the day, but if they were, they were hiding, usually sleeping, in buildings.
I took my .22 with me and headed out.
I drove fast down the empty streets—a few new, dark and emaciated ghoul bodies littering the way—but the thrill of driving like a maniac had worn off. Like most things, it’d just become the norm. Doing whatever you like with no one telling you to stop is like having Christmas every day—or something like that.
I filled the car and looked behind me at the mountains. Their jaggedness was stark against a cloudless sky. To the left of them and above was the moon. Still out in the clear light of day.
Lighting up in the supermarket, I grabbed a cart, and headed straight for the canned goods aisle to fill it.
I went to the cigarette counter and grabbed a couple of Camel packs. I’d never taken them all as I knew the ghouls seemed to have no use for them, hadn’t seen another uninfected person in weeks, and I suppose I liked the routine of picking up a few packs at the end of my shop.
But to my surprise, there was a body behind the counter that day. A young woman, early-twenties, I guess, hugging herself tight, presumably asleep, a serene look on her face. Her hair was bleached, but the roots were black and had grown out considerably. She was wearing a loose-fitting black tank top and denim shorts. My eyes lingered on her pale bare legs for a while before her eyes flitted open to reveal the sunken, milky whites of a ghoul. I took in a sharp inhale of breath and quickly placed my right foot on her chest to prevent her from rising. There was a look of hatred, rage, and fear in her eyes. I scrambled for the gun at the back of my jeans, took it out as the girl wailed like a stuck pig, her arms flailing, and aimed at her face, my hand trembling. I hit her on the top of her scalp, removing skin, hair, and skull. She continued to flail but was now silent, black ooze leaking from the open wound. I removed my foot, turned, and leaped over the counter, took the cart and quickly headed out into the morning sun.
***
That evening, I was back on the roof smoking. I watched a ghoul riding a bike, dragging along another—a skinny woman with matted bedraggled black hair—with some sort of makeshift leash. I picked up my rifle and aimed at the one riding the bike, but I was too late, and they passed into shadow.
It wasn’t the first time I’d seen them doing things like that. Some had a degree of intelligence. I occasionally saw them communicate, pass things to each other, before heading off on their respective ways, but these instances were rare. Whether the ghouls had their own form of culture or were just acting out remnants of their former lives, I had no idea.
All I knew was they had to be exterminated. They were abominations. Abortions of life without a future, with nothing to offer. It was either me or them, and for me there was no deliberating about which option I’d pick. This was pure survival.
No other ghouls appeared, so I gathered my things and called it a night.
***
I awoke to a terrible sound. A demonic, high-pitched scream right beside my ear. I shot up and saw a long, tall silhouette standing at the foot of the bed. My God, I thought. One of them has found a way in.
Two red eyes appeared on the shadow man, and I screamed, leaped out of bed, and wrestled the ghastly thing to the ground, rolling around with it, writhing hysterically. But then I realized there was nothing in my grasp. A moan came from behind me then, something like a death rattle. I rushed to the wall to find the light switch, feeling only the glossy, almost sticky, texture of the wall until I found the switch and flicked it up. I gazed around the room, but there was nothing—no one. I was alone. It was a hallucination. I was drenched in sweat that had quickly gone cold. I calmed my breathing and sat on the edge of the bed, placing my head in my hands and taking deep breaths.
Fucking hell.
***
The scream that woke me in the night may well have been real. When I left the apartment, I saw several wooden planks had been torn off the windows and the reinforced glass had cracked. The culprit was a large, jagged rock below the window. I picked it up and lobbed it toward the park, where it landed with a dull thud.
I’ve had it with these bastards terrorizing me in my own home.
After replacing the planks with new ones, I headed out with my rifle to hunt down and kill as many of those inhuman monsters as I could find.
I’d not been to the mall in a long time and felt like checking into the bookstore, figuring the mall would be as good a place as any to find hiding, sleeping vermin.
A horde of them were standing hunched over in the men’s restroom and I unloaded an entire clip into the weak, just stirring bodies. They all died in silence.
A couple of ghouls were stumbling about in the movie theater like blind people, some sitting facing the empty screen, as if they were watching a film I couldn’t see. I blasted them one by one, straight to hell.
The rest of the mall was empty, but my bloodlust was unquenched.
I picked up a few books in the bookstore before casting them to the floor, realizing I’d long ago lost any interest in reading. I liked the idea of it, but not the reality. What use was there in reading now? What knowledge could be gained? What emotions could be felt? There was no future for me either. Everything was a futile waste of time. I was living in an entropic world, slowly wasting away and falling down.
***
I was heading home when I saw her walking slowly along the sidewalk.
A ghoul walking about in daylight?
I slowed down, kept my distance from the sidewalk, and lowered the window.
“Hey,” I called out.
She froze and turned to look at me. Then she ran.
I stopped the car, put it in park, then got out and pursued her.
The girl was fast, but I soon caught up with her and called for her to stop. She didn’t.
I grabbed her and tackled her to the ground. We both hit the concrete hard, me shouldering most of the impact. She didn’t try too hard to defend herself, just kicked a little and flailed her arms hopelessly. I grabbed hold of them and pinned them down, wrists to the concrete. She stopped struggling and looked into my eyes. Hers were black, seemingly without whites. I’d never seen eyes like them. But she wasn’t one of them.
“Calm down,” I said. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
She was breathing heavily. I put my finger to my lips, then lightly held her cheek. “It’s okay,” I said. “You’re the first person I’ve seen in—well—forever.”
She was still looking into my eyes. But she didn’t say a word.
“I have an apartment,” I said. “It’s safe there. Do you want to go there with me? I’ll protect you.”
She nodded then. I let go of her. “Don’t try to run now,” I said.
I rose and offered her my hand. She took it, and I lifted her up off the sidewalk.
I held her by the waist as we walked to the car. She was rake thin. “When we get to my place, I’ll give you something to eat.”
***
The girl was ravenous. She ate three cans of cold beans. I just stood and watched her eat, transfixed. I felt far away from the entire scene, looking down at myself from above. It was unreal to be sharing space with another person. Watching a person do something as simple as eating was beautiful.
It’s not all fucked.
When she finished, she looked up at me shyly.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Ayla,” she said.
“Ayla. That’s a nice name. Nice to meet you. I’m Alex.”
I held out my hand and extended it toward her. She regarded it for a moment before taking it. Her hand was soft, but a little calloused. And cold. Like a cadaver’s. I held it for a while, stroking the soft pad between her thumb and forefinger, to warm it. She pulled away then.
“Sorry, I just haven’t seen someone for so long,” I said.
She nodded.
“How have you survived out there all this time?” I asked.
“I-I just kept moving during the day,” she said. “Finding places at night and locking myself in.”
“Have you seen anyone else?”
She shook her head and looked down into the empty can of beans. “And you’ve just been in your apartment the whole time?” she asked.
“Yeah, the ghouls are either too weak or too stupid to get in.”
“Why do you call them that?”
“Because that’s what they are—freaks. Vermin to be eradicated.”
“Have you ever thought that they can’t help what they are?”
“Not much. No. We don’t know what caused it. Maybe it was their own choice. And besides, whatever they once were, that’s not what they are now. They’re not human anymore.”
The girl went back to staring into the abyss of the can.
“Say—there’re some water jugs under the sink. You can use one to wash yourself if you like. Bathroom’s just down the corridor. Use the shower in the tub.”
“Okay.” She got up and took out a jug from the cupboard under the sink and headed down the corridor and into the bathroom, closing the door behind her but not locking it.
I realized there wasn’t a towel in the bathroom. I grabbed one from the bedroom, then knocked on the bathroom door. She didn’t respond. Opening the door softly, I peeked through and saw her pouring water over pale, bare skin. A heat overcame me, and I stepped fully inside. She regarded me then, not with fear or apprehension, or even shame at her nakedness, but with an expression I couldn’t read. It wasn’t telling me to go away or to come closer. But I came closer and held out the towel. She took it, let it drop just outside the bathtub, then took hold of my forearm and pulled me in. She looked into my eyes—hers hypnotic, swirling, wet, and black like marbles of deep-sea oil, pulling me closer and closer in.
***
I awoke that night beside the girl. But there was something wrong. It wasn’t the peaceful solitude of a post-coital union between two lost souls who’d found each other at long last. There were others in the room with us. Dark shapes standing long and tall at the foot of the bed—stretched shadows. Three of them. One held a long knife that shone in the darkness like old silver.
I grabbed the girl’s arm and shook her awake.
“It’s okay,” she said, her voice soft. “They’re with me. Come to deliver us from this dark fate.”
I didn’t know what she was talking about until she held her belly and gently caressed it. She looked at me with those deep black eyes and I knew then that she was neither human nor ghoul. She was something else. Something more.
“A new beginning,” she said as the three shapes came nearer to surround us.
