Eating the Elephant: Care and Keeping of the Author by Kimberly Rei & Dean Shawker

Authors are some of the most tenacious, resilient, determined creatures. We return to the altar of submissions over and over, regardless of the results—joy for acceptance, wine and tears for rejections. Back we go, making our offering and waiting—days, weeks, months…yes, sometimes years…for the response.

While we wait, we go back to our pens, typewriters, and keyboards, to open another creative vein and start anew.

Tenacious.

And not always the best at caring for the mind and body that keeps our genius moving.

The phrase burn the midnight oil, meaning to stay up into the wee hours of darkness, has been attributed to a poet. A writer. Of course.

Let’s explore the crimes we commit against ourselves and how we can adjust.

Sleep

We’ll start here.

Most authors I know (overwhelmingly so) have day jobs. Many have spouses and/or children. There are parents and siblings, pets and neighbors. The list of demands on a life is endless.

When do we ever find time to write?

Why, in those wee hours—when the oil is burning. When others are, finally, sleeping. When our world grows quiet enough that we can hear the voices of our characters, hear the wind blowing through our forests. When everything else fades and we can…think.

Those hours are glorious, but they come at a steep price. Sluggish mornings fueled by caffeine and quick breakfasts. Dragging through a day because neither of those things lasts long. Snapping at people, getting tired of your grumpy self. Ugh.

Carry on like this long enough and you face severe sleep deprivation. That comes with hallucinations! Delusions! Psychotic breaks! The list goes on, but they all have the same consequence…you won’t be writing much. All that sacrifice, poof!

Bottom line: ya gotta sleep.

And not catnaps and quick hits throughout the day. You need that REM goodness—several hours, in a row. That part is important. In a row.

Consider what gets in your way, beyond writing. We have, as a collective, formed some very bad habits around our devices and sleep. Try to keep the phone, tablet, or laptop out of the bedroom. Put some space—both physical and metaphorical—between you and screen time.

Don’t tap away at keys right up to your scheduled bedtime (because that’s a thing you should set). Your brain needs time to wind down from WorkGoWorkGo to RestNow. Read a book. Listen to some music. Sit in the quiet and breathe.

And then, sleep.

(If you find yourself having long term problems, maybe talk to your doctor, if you have one. You might need more than better habits.)

Nutrition

So, how’s the three-meals-a-day thing going?

You’re eating, right?

Not just the kids’ leftovers or what you grabbed passing the food truck brigade. You’re sitting down to a meal requiring a knife and fork. You’re taking your time chewing, savoring, enjoying.

Right?

No.

Okay, look. The body needs things. Food is high on the list.

This section will be far shorter than the previous because food is pretty straightforward: vegetables, protein, carbs.

Yes, you do need carbs. No, caffeine is not a food group.

Create two things:

• A menu. Stick to it as best you can. A menu can prevent panic eating when you haven’t done the shopping in two weeks and your stomach is chewing an exit through your spine. With a menu, you can shop right from it. You don’t have to make decisions—you already did! If you can make meals ahead of time, groovy. If not, that’s okay too, because you probably need to step away from the keyboard anyway. Plan your meals. You’ll notice a difference in both your health and your productivity.
• A food diary. I know. Stop groaning. I hate them too. But until you form some better habits that don’t involve “when did I last eat?”, you’re going to need some guidance.
  This isn’t for dieting purposes and it most certainly isn’t for shaming. This is for awareness and gap filling.
  Are you great at breakfast but skip midday consumption? Lunch doesn’t have to be three courses, but it should be something with things your body and brain need. You’ll see where you fill in with pure sugar because that gives you the happy chemicals. You may even see where the crash hits.
  Be honest. Brutally honest.
  You don’t have to show anyone. This is between you and you.

Which leads us to…

Hydration

Coffee is not hydration.

Soda is not hydration.

Tea is better.

Mind the juice intake (see sugar crash above).

Water is hydration.

I’m not telling you to drop any other liquid. Some of us will go into shock without the proper balance of caffeine.

Set some boundaries for yourself. I don’t recommend the “drink this many ounces a day” routine. If you forget, you’re guzzling an hour before bed, then waking up twenty-seven times.

I have found two methods that work for me:

1. Ratio method. I had one Pepsi. I will drink one water of equal or greater ounceage (it is too a word. I made it up. Right here). When I get comfortable there, next I drink two waters. I’ve gone to three, but that tends to make me cranky.
2. Hours/location method. When I’m at work—or for those of us remote, when I’m in working hours—just water. Something else with a meal, then back to water. When work is done, all bets are off.

I prefer the first method, but it doesn’t matter which I activate—like a damned sleeper cell—I’m drinking water.

I’m winning.

Hygiene

This is going to be simple.

Shower. Once a day is nice. Before your family and clothes start hiding from you will do.

Brush your teeth. At least once a day.

Mints do not count.

Nuff said.

Sunlight

You are not a mole.

You are not meant to live in dark spaces.

If you can’t go outside and wiggle your toes in grass, at least yank back the curtains. Maybe open the window and let air and sunlight into your space.

We’re adults, and some of us write glorious smut, so try to control yourself when I say you need to get that vitamin D. I mean it.

When you get too deep into a project, the days can evaporate. If you work outside the home, you may fool yourself into thinking you get sunlight.

“Don’t be silly, Stygian Minion, I see the sun when I walk out of my house and to my car!”

I’m sure you do. That’s not much. And it’s hurried, not mindful. Part of the benefit of that great orb in the sky is when you pause to appreciate the warmth and light.

When you, as stated way above, breathe. (I live in Florida. My relationship with the sun is one of love/hate. But still, I go soak it up.)

When the seasons change and the sun is either too much or not enough, you’re the one who needs to adjust. I know this can all sound silly, but it’s another one of those sciency things. It matters. It makes the brain happy, and a happy brain is more likely to create.

Writer’s Block

This doesn’t feel much like a care and keeping of topic, does it? Ahhh, but it is.

Consider how you feel when you’re stuck.

Depressed? Angry? Ready to give it all up?

A hindrance to our goals can derail us in significant ways, and that can cause a domino effect. You’re distracted, so you don’t eat. You’re angry, so you pace—inside, where it’s dark. You’re frustrated, and whisky takes the place of water. You’re sad, and good nutrition becomes restless snacking.

There are reams of articles about how to break writer’s block. Explore. Find several that work for you. And I mean several, because what worked last round may not work this one. Have a selection to choose from and give them an honest attempt.

If nothing works, step away for a bit. Either work on a different project, change your work location, or simply go run errands. Get entirely away from the project for a time.

Then come back and see what happens.

It’s an unpleasant beastie that can stalk you for a ridiculous amount of time. The less you feed it, the less you allow it to derail the rest of your life and your self-care, the faster it retreats.

So, whatcha think?

Ready to be kinder to your authorly self?

Don’t feel you need to pounce on every point and completely rework yourself. That way lies madness and frenzy…states that cannot hold.

Be gentle. Habits form and change slowly.

Be kind to your author.